ساجي.. اليوم عيد ميلادك فعد إلى البيت

أن أهديك رسالة طويلة وأختمها بـ أنا أحبك ، هذه هدية مملة، لا أريد فعل ذلك، ثم انني جربت كتابة الرسائل لك وفشلت ..تخيل ان تكتب وتبكي ثم تكتب..ثم تقرأ ما كتبت فتجده فارغاً من دموعك، أين دموعي لقد وضعتها في هذه الكلمات؟ الكلمات هنا ولكن دموعي أين؟ ثم أين ساجي لقد وضعته بين هاتين الكلمتين في السطر الرابع ورسمت عينيه وقلبه في كلمة أخي، ها هي كلمة أخي متنصبة مثل الصنم ولكن أين أخي؟
لماذا كل الرسائل التي أكتبها لك لا تشبهك؟

كلنا هنا في حيرة من أمرنا، ماذا نهدي ساجي في عيد ميلاده الواحد والعشرين؟ لا تهز رأسك هكذا وتقول لا شيء.. لا تهز رأسك وكأنك تقول لي أنه لن يكون لك عيد ميلاد بيننا من جديد، ولا تقل لي أن التقويم تغير، وأنه لا عيد ميلاد لمن ماتوا.. لا تقل هذا ولا تكن واقعياً، بل انظر معي الى صورك كلها، أليست عيناك فيهما الف عيد ميلاد لم يأتي؟ وابتسامتك.. انظر اليها، أليست تطفىء الشموع وتأكل الكعك وتفتح الهدايا وتشكر أمنيات الأحبة وتبتسم لهم؟
ثم لماذا لا تعود مرة واحدة؟ أطلب من الله.. جرب ولا تكن خجولا..الله يحبك ربما سيقول لك: حسناً ساعة واحدة تكفي؟ نعم نعم تكفي يا الله.

ماذا نهديك؟ أمي وحبيبتك..اخوتي وانا نقول بأنك هديتنا، ولكن ماذا نهدي هديتنا؟ مرة أهديناك ساعة يد لتعرف الوقت، لم نكن نعلم أنك الوقت كله، وكنا نقول لك أنت “حبيب الشعب” لان الجميع يحبك..ولم نكن نعلم أنك حبيبه حقاً، كنا نقولها وكأننا نحن الشعب..سبعة أخوة، عائلة كبيرة تكفي لتكون شعباً.

ولكن الشعب تغير يا ساجي.. الشعب هم كل الذين أحبوك دون أن يعرفوك.. تخيل أنني قد أجد صورتك في أي مكان؟ تخيل أني قد امر بجوار غريبين فاسمعهما يتحدثان عنك؟ تخيل أنك في دعاء الكثيرين وصلاتهم؟ تخيل أن اسمك يظل منتصباً في جامعتك لتلقي عليك أجيالٌ كثيرة السلام؟ تخيل ان كل قاعات الجامعة وشوارعها وكتبها هي أنت؟ تخيل أن هناك أشعارا ونصوصاً كتبت لك؟ تخيل أن جميع الناس الذين لا يتفقون عادة، اتفقوا على أنك الفارس الشجاع الوسيم الطيب الذي تقرأ قصته للأطفال قبل النوم؟ تخيل ان أناس لم يلتقوك ابدا، يشتاقون لك كثيراً؟
تخيل أني أكره كل هذا ولا أريده وأريدك أنت؟ تخيل أني استبدله كله برسالة فارغة منك!

-كل هذا لي أنا؟ هذه هدية عيد ميلادي إذاً.
* نعم..ولكنك لم تسمعني جيدا.. قلت لك كل هذا ليس مهماً، المهم هي الساعة من الله لتأتي عندنا، هل وافق؟
-ليالي لا تكوني أنانية هكذا ولا تسألي عن هديتك فهذا عيد ميلاد أنا.
*…أنا أحبك

صوت: أحمد قطليش.
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