حيطان الجيران لا تهمني في شيء
فهنا حدث لي كل شيء
هنا تعطلت عن العمل ورحت أنظر إلى الحيطان
هنا وقعت مريضا ورحت أنظر إلى الحيطان

هنا انتابني الغم والنكد ووهنا صببت اللعنة على العالم
ولعلي هنا تعلمت ماهي حدودي وما هي أوجه قصوري
نعم وادركت أنني لست كل ما كنت أظنه في نفسي
نعم هذه كله حدث في داخل هذه الحيطان وتغلغل في داخلها
وتسألينني ماذا أحمل من غلٍ لهذه الحيطان
نعم أحمل لها الكثير

أعرفها هذه الحيطان
درستها دراسة طويلة
هناك بيننا تاريخ طويل
والآن وقد تعين أن تسقط هذه الجدران
فلماذا لا أمد يدي إلى العمل
من ذا الذي يتمتع بحق أفضل من هذا
بحقٍ أقدس من هذه
لماذا أتخلى عنه لأحد

سأفعلها بنفس سأحفر فيها خروقا وفتحات
سوف أرى النهر الشرقي من غرفة الطعام
وسوف يكون لي بذلك من نفسي رضا وارتياح
وآخذ بثاري من كل تلك الأوقات الرهيبة
ماذا تجديني حيطان الشقة السفلى؟
أريد أن أشفي غلتي من حيطاني هذه نفسها
إنني أعرف كل نتوء فيها
وكل صدع وكل وجه في شقوق السقف
الآن سأرى مما صنع هذا المكان وما شكل الحيطان من الداخل
سوف أنتزع كل لوح من الخشب وأنفذ إلى ما وراء كل نتوء
هذه النتوءات التي تشبه العيون والحواجب والمناظر الطبيعية وهكذا

لا لا لم أفقد صوابي
لم أفقد صوابي
حذار من تشخيص أمراض ذوي قرباك.. ما ينبغي لك أبدا أن تفعلي ذلك حتى وإن كان صحيحا
ينبغي لك في سنك هذه أن تعرفي أن ما تظنين أنه الجنون هو مجرد السعادة
وأنت لم تألفي السعادي
ولعلك لم تري أي شيء منها منذ أمد طويل وقد نسيتي ما شكلها

أنا سعيد
سعادة هائلة
ألا ترين مدى سعادتي؟
إنني رجل جديد
لذلك أضرب بتعويض الألف دولار عرض الحائط
فلو كنت كما هو حالي المعتاد لاحتجت إلى الألف دولار حتى تعينني على الاحتمال

لا تلومي نفسك على ذلك يا حبيبتي..
إن الحياة اليومية شيء غريب
فماذا يصنع الزوج وزوجته، عليهما أن يعيشاها معا.. وما من أحدٍ بملوم
ولكنني في اليومين الماضيين كنت أحمل في قلبي شعورا رائعا كأنني شاعر
كنت أرحب بمجيء النوم كل ليلة وأبارك مجيئ الصبح كل نهار
كنت كالصغير يقرأ كتابا رائعا وعليه أن يضعه كل ليلة إلى جنب
ويقول لنفسه
أغمض عينيك لحظة فقط
وعندما تفتحهما ثانية… يكون الصباح قد جاء
فتواصل قراءته وفي الصباح الذي يقبل سراعا كل شيء عذب جدا
وكتابه لا زال شيئا رائعا لا يخرب الأمل المعقود عليه.
ذلك كيف كانت أيامي منذ شرعت أخرب هذه الشقة..

 

من تأليف الكاتب الأمريكي: سول بيلو.
ترجمة إدوارد خراط.
صوت: أحمد قطليش.
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