تقول أمي: هناك غرف مغلقة داخل كافة النساء؛

مطبخ للشهوة، حجرة نوم للحزن، حمام للامبالاة.

الرجال يأتون أحيانًا بالمفاتيح،

وأحيانًا بالمطارق.

ثانيًا

“الطلاسم تتردد”

قلت توقف. قلت لا، لكنه لم ينصت.

ثالثًا

ربما لديها خطة، ربما تعيده إلى منزلها، فقط ليستيقظ بعد ساعات في مغطس مليء بالثلج،

بفمٍ جاف، مطالعًا أناقة هيئته الجديدة.

رابعًا

أشير لجسدي وأقول: أهذا الشيء القديم؟ لا، لقد انزلقت فيه للتو.

خامسًا

“هل ستأكلين ذلك؟”، سألت أمي، مشيرة إلى أبي الذي يرقد على مائدة غرفة الطعام

وفمه محشوًا بتفاحة حمراء.

سادسًا

كلما نما جسدي، كلما زاد عدد الغرف المغلقة، وزاد عدد الرجال الآتين بالمفاتيح.

أنور لم يدفع بالمفتاح حتى النهاية، ما زلت أفكر فيما كان يمكن أن يفتحه بداخلي إن فعل.

تردد باسل عند الباب لثلاث سنوات. ثم جاء جوني ذو العينين الزرقاوين،

حاملًا حقيبة من الأدوات التي استخدمها سابقًا مع نساء أخريات:

دبوس شعر، زجاجة مبيض، مطواة، وعبوة فازلين.

ردد يوسف اسم الله بالقرب من ثقب المفتاح ولم يجيبه أحد.

بعضهم توسل، بعضهم تسلق جانب جسدي بحثًا عن نافذة،

والبعض قالوا إنهم في طريقهم ولم يأتوا.

سابعًا

قالوا: أرنا على الدمية أين يتم لمسك.

قلت: لا أبدو كدمية، أبدو كبيت.

قالوا: أرنا على البيت.

هكذا: أصبعين في جرة المربى.

هكذا: مرفق في حوض الاستحمام.

هكذا: يد في الدرج.

ثامنًا

يجدر أن أخبرك عن حبي الأول

الذي اكتشف بابًا سحريًا أسفل نهدي الأيسر منذ تسع سنوات،

سقط منه إلى داخلي ومنذ ذلك الحين لم يشاهده أحد.

بين حين وآخر، أشعر بمن يزحف متسلقًا فخذي،

عليه أن يعلن عن هويته،

ربما سمحت له بالخروج.

آمل بأنه لم يصطدم بالآخرين،

الصبية المفقودين من المدن الصغيرة،

وأمهاتهم الوادعات، الذين ارتكبوا أمورًا سيئة وضاعوا في متاهة شعري.

أعتني بهم جيدًا؛ شريحة من الخبز،

وقطعة من الفاكهة إن كانوا محظوظين.

فيما عدا جوني ذو العينين الزرقاوين،

الذي تمكن من أقفالي رغمًا عني وزحف داخلًا.

صبي سخيف، مقيد بقبو مخاوفي

أعزف الموسيقى لأغرقه.

تاسعًا

“قرع على الباب”.

من هناك؟

لا أحد.

عاشرًا

في الحفلات أشير إلى جسدي وأقول: يأتي الحب ليموت هنا.

مرحبًا بكم داخله، لتعتبروه بيتكم.

ويضحك الجميع، ظنًا منهم أنني أمزح.

 

ترجمة: أسماء حسين.
صوت: أحمد قطليش.
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